Zestful One

Oh, I look angry?

Posted by IcedNyior on March 31, 2004  |  No Comments

Hmm……seems like ignoring them seems to hv made them realize something is up (at last!!)…….they asked another fren of mine about it…..their excuse : “we didnt see her…but when we realized, she looked so angry we didnt dare say hi”………whatever…

Wanted to go out clubbing tonite…but i’ve asked around…but everyone is so busy or tired….it’s juz not my luck to be going out tonite….damn! juz when i wanted to go dancin to relieve stress…..

Ignoring me now eh?

Posted by IcedNyior on March 31, 2004  |  No Comments

Hm…so they are starting to ignore me now huh? Almost everyone in the gang who went together-gether are starting to think i dont exist. They can sit right next to me and make as if I’m not there. Well, two can play at dat game. I’m not going to say anything until they make the first move. A frenship has no point if only one party has to make an effort to make it work…..i feel as if Im the one who always sez hello first…..

got into this bad habit of going clubbing too often….i love to go dancing…but i also drink when i go there. Not too much tho…juz a lil……Now i feel like going out Wed nite (ladies nite) for a drink and dance to forget my sorrows :S the thing is….the same group dat ditched me is the same group i always go out clubbing with. Gotta find another way to go…..my other gal pal is enthusiastic to go as well…she’s goinna find a way.

Got a physics test…..i think its kinda easy…but im so not in the mood to study….im so dead now….

It’s 2.30 am and this is my 3rd entry in less than 24 hrs……I’m going to sleep now…test or no test…prepared or not…..friends or no frens…..

Stupid excuses from stupid friends

Posted by IcedNyior on March 30, 2004  |  No Comments

Finally mentioned to my “fren” about how come she left me behind….she said i told her dat i was going to study. Checked my chat logs and discovered that i juz said i was going to study some time later……and i did ask her if she was going out….but she said she was going to study too…..

Study MY FOOT!! she went to the beach with the rest of my gang……..and had the cheek to say i said i wanted to “Study”. Wud d hell?!?!She knew i wasnt in a gud mood. She knew it needed time out….and yet…..

i really got nothing to say now…I’ve been hurt once before…and it wont happen again….I’m scared…..scared to make friends….scared of getting hurt again. Small things like this shouldnt effect me, I know…but I’ve been moody a few days now. Stressed with school work. I actually have a Physics test tomorrow and am currently studying for it. Its easy shit…but nothing can really enter my mind now

I feel like screaming…..crying…anything to remove wat i’m feeling. Words CANNOT describe wat i feel. Even I am confused by what I’m feeling. Im tired…..tired of thinking….tired of trying to understand other people…..tired of making excuses for others…..tired of listening to people trying to “pacify” me. For goodness sake!! Can’t i even spend some time being moody and depressed??? Instead, everyone expects me to lighten up…….of course I would lighten up….but i also need time to be sad….for after the rain comes the sunshine.

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ONE good thing did happen today tho…..i was opening my Friendster.com when i found a testimonial dat a fren wrote for me. He’s my fren back in KK….I wont be seeing him for a long time…but the way he wrote made me think of happy memories i had back in KK…where i spent 7 years of my life. I actually cried when i read it…coz it came at the very time dat i was wondering why i cant choose good frens…..Thank you God for sending dat at the very time i needed it………..I guess my guy fren would never realize the impact his small and seemingly insignificant testimonial did for me….but I would always know…..

Time for new friends?

Posted by IcedNyior on March 30, 2004  |  No Comments

Well…when it comes to this point…the only thing left to do is to move on. “Get new friends”..dat what people said. Hah! Easier said than done. Friends are a big priority in my life. I’ve got lotsa frens…but only get close to a few….found out last sem that the bunch i got close to tend to ignore me coz they got “hooked up” with each other……

The same thing happened again with another group of frens….whether purposely or not…i dont know…what i do know is….This is really the end of the line….Trust is too fragile a thing to be easily given to others….

Pissed

Posted by IcedNyior on March 30, 2004  |  No Comments

now im really pissed off… …..i think there was a lot of opportunity for me to go…and yet…i’m stuck in this boring hostel

So called friends

Posted by IcedNyior on March 29, 2004  |  No Comments

Been a lil depressed lately…….parents dont let me go back for the holidays…meaning I’m goinna be stuck here. Got exams coming up…and I cant concentrate on my studies. Purposely missed  classes for 2 days now……I juz cant bring myself to go to class when I’m not in the mood to do anything. I might get angry at the lecturer or my frens and lose myself.

Friends……a word that is supposed to be self-explainatory. Apparently I suck at choosing good friends……Seems like i cant get close to anyone here….I’ll juz end up getting hurt.[ Note to self : Trust no-one.] Seems like I’m goinna build a thick, big wall around my heart so I wont get hurt………like what i wrote in my MSN messanger nick “Watevala….I dont give a damn anymore…………Nothing can hurt me coz i’ve given up hoping”. Yeap…dats true…I’ve given up hoping….hoping for the best is ok…but i dont put trust on dat hope.

Moody and depressed………………..

Lousy internet

Posted by IcedNyior on March 24, 2004  |  No Comments

Another nite wif me on the prowl…its now 3.45 am……sleepy but juz wanted to add sum stuff here.

the internet service in the hostel is @#&*$^%!! No words can be used to describe how irritated I feel. I cant open websites….Instant message programs (icq, msn, yahoo) cant even login……arrghh!!

Will write more later…its 4 am and im really totally sleepy…been very busy for the past week. Cya~!!

p/s: Al, more on sabo² next time…hehehe..when im in the mood

Going behind my back

Posted by IcedNyior on March 16, 2004  |  No Comments

Im in a seriously bad mood at the moment so if any bad words come out, juz bear with me. If you cant, then i dont really give a damn.

Feeling miserable as well…was sick the whole day…stayed i bed till around 4 pm. Then everyone else went out…except for me. But i declined coz i wasnt feeling too good. I was wondering how come my roommate (and “so called best fren”) hasnt come home yet so I called her to make sure she isnt stranded in town coz the last bus has left. Then I find out that she’s in this restaurant with a few of my frens (coz it’s her birthday today)….all whom i juz met 1 hr ago….all whom didnt tell me they were going. I dont really give a shit about whether they go without me or not. It’s the fact that they went behind my back dat irritates me. Especially since it’s not the first time…nor will it be the last. This is the end of the line….it’s time for me to look for other friends to hang out with since the ones i have now are hopeless.

Hostel Life

Posted by IcedNyior on March 15, 2004  |  No Comments

Goodness, i havent added stuff in here for ages! Anyway, I’m back in Uni…but finding it pretty hard to get back into the studying mood. But happy coz I have less subjects now and more time to do other things…like sleep, play and of course, study *groan*.

Juz got my PC back yesterday so life would be much much easier considering i’m now stayin in the hostel and it has internet connection..yippie! Been rather busy these 3 weeks. The first week was busy moving and settling all the registration stuff in the uni. By the second week i was more settled in and had more time to play around. *Hehehe!* On the third week I started classes but most were cancelled so I still have a bit of time to myself.

Anyway, my next class is at noon (monday) and it’s now 6 am on Monday coz I haven’t slept yet. Will yak more about my life this semester some other time.

Signing off ~CoconutIce

Test results

Posted by IcedNyior on March 13, 2004  |  No Comments

Wat a day….juz 2 days ago I was happy coz I got back my Physics test paper and managed to pass. Even tho i didnt know bout d test until my fren called my hp while i was still sleeping.

Today, got back a Math test paper that i really studied for. I FAILED badly!!!! Arrgghh!!!!

Yesterday didnt really feel like going out. Loudspeaker & Orange Juice said they we’re going but last minute they went out. Oh well…the Arab guys are really paying for it coz they’re dead tired and they got a test today.

Tonite is the graduation for Foundation students…makes me kinda regret having to repeat a few subjects. Anyway, i managed to get free tickets so I’ll be going later..hehe..yippie!

Feeling really sleepy now coz i didnt sleep last nite…spent the whole nite laughing wif old sch frens online…haha….but it was worth it

Till my next post…..*Muaks*