Zestful One

Bdays coming up

It’s A’s bday soon (Sat) and I dunno wat to get her :S…..mayb would juz get her a piece of jewelery. The problem now is figuring out when to get it. I think I’ll go Sat morning coz her bday potluck is at 3 pm.

It’s koko’s bday on Mon but I know wat to get him…he said he loves lasagne so I’m making one for him…hope it’ll turn out okay..hehehe….most probably will make 2 and eat one….ekekeke….plus i need to prove to sids dat i can make a nice one :P

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Friend problems again

Can’t seem to sleep early these days. Only get sleepy around 4-5 am. Weird isnt it? Mayb i’m tired. Mayb im juz stressed.

Im dissapointed and hurt. Imagine one of your closest friends not inviting you to her housewarming party, coz her sis (and her hsemate) was the “fren” dat i mentioned in entries last month. The one that sometimes acts so friendly, then ditches me d next day. The one dat acts like a b***** and I’m not joking. Not to mention dat all of that ‘gang’ i hang out with were invited including a few new friends they made. And i also heard that they had a blast. And also got really wasted then went out clubbing.

Well, dun really care….nothing i can really do bout it i guess

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Football obsession

I found a new interest!! heheh…I’m now part of the first ever gals football team in my uni. Cool!! I’m the new goalkeeper….and I had my first practise today. Man….i got hit by dozens of balls…not to mention missing a few balls. Come on…it is my first time playing as goalie. Hehe!!

Feeling tired now…but I’ve got a Chem quiz tomolo….so gotta study for it. Juz finished a very late dinner….so kinda sleepy oledi. Hehehe!

Tomolo nite it’s goinna be ladies nite….i wonder if ppl are going to bring me. I wonder if my “frens” will remember to call me….hmm…

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Being different

About my earlier entry….i talked to another fren (who is not involved) about it and she said “wouldnt doing that make things worse? Wont they be surprise coz you’re suddenly not urself anymore?”

She has a point there. However, I cant please everyone can I? I am what I am. If I’m irritating, well, that’s how I am. No matter how hard you try..there is no way that you can change me to be totally what you want me to be. So since I know that my “friends” find me irritating and talkative,then I’ll try to avoid them coz if i pretend to be quiet and all that in front of them…then that makes me nothing more than a hypocrite. So my best mode of action is trying to minimize contact with them so that they wont find me so irritating anymore.

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Lately, I’ve been feeling very tired…..and not enthusiastic. Probably its coz of all the problems I’m having. If i had no classes, I could sleep the whole day away. Which is what I’ve been doing for 2 days….and I’ve missed 3 classes. I’ve never been like that before. My appetite is drastically lowered from 3 meals a day to only one. I’ve been getting an on and off flu. Not to mention I’ve been feeling a lil feverish. Im worried about what’s wrong with me…..physically and mentally…..

:S

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Its out in the open

Hmm…so now i know why they’ve been ignoring me. Well…they think im irritating, noisy, big-mouthed and so on and so forth. Honestly, i would prefer they tell me much earlier…before deciding to hurt me first. But anyway, it good that it’s finally out in the open. At least i know what to do now…..i guess I’ll juz keep quiet all the time….since they think im such an irritating know-it-all, then fine….i wont be then.

Im SO disapointed at myself. I used to be someone who wouldnt care what people think. If they think im weird, irritating, stupid or whatever, i really wouldnt care. But now…..things change…..telling it straight to my face has cause me to think. Yes, i did suspect that they find me irritating sometimes…but not till that extent. Well, i guess I’ll juz give them the person they want. Actually…it’s more like I’m goinna try to avoid them as much as I can…juz to keep the peace. Friends are such an important priority for me…..

The me i used to know is slipping away…..its so pathetic……I have to start wearing a mask again….but then i’m not the only one…..everyone wears masks. Why shouldnt I?

No one knows the real me anymore…….I’m not even sure if I do

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It rained today…what a relief. I love the rain….i love watching it and listening to it. For me…it seems like it washes my pain away….like symbolism of the tears that can never fall down my face. The rain makes me feel so melancholic…….i wish it rained more…especially at night…..especially when I’m feeling alone….

I stood outside my hostel corridor juz watching the rain fall down….beautiful experience, standing there for bout 10 mins. Doing absolutely nothing……Can’t wait to do that again soon….. [Bad thing was that this rain was on and off...so couldnt really enjoy it to the fullest]

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