Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
Mengagumi tanpa di cintai
Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
Dalam hidupmu, dalam hidupmu

Telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
Bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

Ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
Meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku
Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja

“Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja untuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja”

Yes, what’s new. Especially now that I’ve got tons of work to do. I’m feeling cranky and irritable.

I’m home alone for four days, from yesterday till Saturday. My family went to Jakarta. They’re having a ball of a time over there. The reason I couldn’t go was because I have a deadline this Friday. Its actually a good thing I didn’t go coz I had to go and pick up my exam slip this week.

So yesterday I sent them off at KLIA then dropped by Cyberjaya then went back to Kota Dsara, then he called and asked if we could meet up so I shot off straight to his place (a 40 min drive), went for dinner there. Then I got a call from Aree asking us to play Catan so we went home, took a shower then wen to her place and ended up going home at 2.30am.

Woke up so early this morning to send him off then cleaned up the house - washed all the dishes (the family left with a pile of dishes for me to clean), washed all my clothes and the clothes that’s been left soaking (also left for me to settle), and cleaned my toilet which has been dirty for some time. LOL

*He* tak jadi to come back this evening. He wanted to go back home to rest and do laundry. Like he can’t do it at my house la? Perhaps I’m too much of a distraction? Well, it would hv been nice to tell me earlier like this morning so that I won’t be hoping as much and feeling cranky now.

Oh, and to make matters worst, it rained again this evening while I was sleeping so all my clothes are wet. And it happened also YESTERDAY. Dammit!

p/s: I might not be contactable until Friday because I got lots of work to catch up with so when I do sleep, it will be at weird hours and my phone will be on silent.

p.s.s : Can I say that I’m absolutely so jealous my family is in Jakarta? They’re staying in a 2 bedroom service aprtment in one of the most expensive hotels there - The Ritz Carlton (company’s paying for it coz my dad has a meeting/conf there).

Click to see a bigger pic

Haih~~ Im almost finishing my 3d project and decided to test out the rendering to see how long it will take. Then I find out that it crashes everytime I want to render it as a video (either AVI or MOV). Probably because I’m using the pirated version, I don’t know.

Im trying to complete it ASAP (sometime this afternoon) and then I’ll send it to a friend of mine who will try to render it for me. But I’m not really sure of what version he’s using and he can’t promise to deliver it on time (I need it by Tuesday for my presentation).

Worst come to the worst, I’ll probably have to render it frame by frame then find some kinda software to create it into an avi - much like stock motion animation. Sucks!

~~~~~

On another note, I always thought that independance was an intergrated part of me and that I wont be a needy gf. But when I know he’s going outstation, I feel weird. I don’t know how to explain it. Its just weird. He feels bad going. But I want him to go. He needs to go because he has things to do. It’ll be selfish and bad for me to deny him that. I understand everything rationally. And usually, I would even give a second thought about this kinda things.

I don’t know where this irrational feelings come from. I mean, I leave him all the time - Phuket last January, Jakarta this coming June (this one not confirmed yet), KK this coming July, and somewhr - most probably Koh Phangan - end of this year (still in planning). Maybe its because it the first time he will be away. Or maybe its because i broke it off with my first bf when he balik kampung and was taunting me about the fact that he got married. He has always been taunting me about other girls that he has and it was the last straw. So I called it off there and then, over the phone.

Blergh! I dont halang him going - I understand perfectly the reasons why and I accept it. I just feel weird.

Edit: Worst part is, i cant contact him coz he didn’t bring his phone
~~~
I don’t have a good feeling about today

Sorry this is a bit late. Totally forgot to publish it, even tho I wrote this post already and saved it as a draft. LOL!

Anyway, unlike previous downloads, today I’m bringing you an interesting book by Neil Strauss titled The Game : Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. This book was actually recommended by a guy friend of mine. It tells the story of how a guy learned the tricks of becoming a pickup artist/player. Interesting read.

(more…)

They say jealousy is part of a healthy relationship. I’ve known girls who purposely makes their boyfriends jealous so that they feel like their bfs really do love them. I myself have tried to test the boundaries of jealousy in my relationship by asking what makes him jealous and what wont.

DiscoveryHealth has this (really) short quiz that you can take to judge how jealous you are in a relationship.

For the heterosexual men, click HERE. For the heterosexual women, click HERE. For the homosexual people, sorry there isn’t a quiz for you I don’t make the rules.

Anyway, this is my results:

Score = 16/100

What does your score mean?

Most people experience a certain amount of fear that their loved one could leave them for someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful.

You, on the other hand, appear to have a complete lack of jealous feelings. If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are extremely secure, strong, and independent. You know that if your partner ever leaves you, you will survive with your self-esteem and dignity intact.

You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only fish in the sea, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else.

His on the other hand was a 40/100. LOL! Sounds like a miss independent kinda thing huh? But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you baby

Personally, I don’t think that jealousy should be part of the judging of how much you love the person. If you are always so jealous and keep tabs on your other half, its not jealousy, but obsession and controlling. (jgn terasa Pam!)

Like I said earlier, a bit of jealousy is healthy in a relationship but the most important thing is that you must learn to trust each other. Agreed?