Six months passed. Then 1 year and three weeks passed.

For some reason I will always remember this date because one of my best friends got married around this time. Well, I hope you are doing well. I hope your work isn’t as demanding as before. Most of all, I hope you are happy.

Well the reason for this post was because I came across an old comment of yours (sometime in Feb) in this blog and suddenly thought of u:

apa yang ku tahu..perasaan ini milikmu..selagi diizinkan masa untukku..selagi dirimu ada..ikhlas menanti suatu hari nanti moga ada sinar..

yang rindu padamu, (name)

Guess our day never came :(

Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
Mengagumi tanpa di cintai
Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
Dalam hidupmu, dalam hidupmu

Telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
Bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

Ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
Meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku
Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja

“Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja untuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja”

Yes, what’s new. Especially now that I’ve got tons of work to do. I’m feeling cranky and irritable.

I’m home alone for four days, from yesterday till Saturday. My family went to Jakarta. They’re having a ball of a time over there. The reason I couldn’t go was because I have a deadline this Friday. Its actually a good thing I didn’t go coz I had to go and pick up my exam slip this week.

So yesterday I sent them off at KLIA then dropped by Cyberjaya then went back to Kota Dsara, then he called and asked if we could meet up so I shot off straight to his place (a 40 min drive), went for dinner there. Then I got a call from Aree asking us to play Catan so we went home, took a shower then wen to her place and ended up going home at 2.30am.

Woke up so early this morning to send him off then cleaned up the house – washed all the dishes (the family left with a pile of dishes for me to clean), washed all my clothes and the clothes that’s been left soaking (also left for me to settle), and cleaned my toilet which has been dirty for some time. LOL

*He* tak jadi to come back this evening. He wanted to go back home to rest and do laundry. Like he can’t do it at my house la? Perhaps I’m too much of a distraction? Well, it would hv been nice to tell me earlier like this morning so that I won’t be hoping as much and feeling cranky now.

Oh, and to make matters worst, it rained again this evening while I was sleeping so all my clothes are wet. And it happened also YESTERDAY. Dammit!

p/s: I might not be contactable until Friday because I got lots of work to catch up with so when I do sleep, it will be at weird hours and my phone will be on silent.

p.s.s : Can I say that I’m absolutely so jealous my family is in Jakarta? They’re staying in a 2 bedroom service aprtment in one of the most expensive hotels there – The Ritz Carlton (company’s paying for it coz my dad has a meeting/conf there).

Click to see a bigger pic

Haih~~ Im almost finishing my 3d project and decided to test out the rendering to see how long it will take. Then I find out that it crashes everytime I want to render it as a video (either AVI or MOV). Probably because I’m using the pirated version, I don’t know.

Im trying to complete it ASAP (sometime this afternoon) and then I’ll send it to a friend of mine who will try to render it for me. But I’m not really sure of what version he’s using and he can’t promise to deliver it on time (I need it by Tuesday for my presentation).

Worst come to the worst, I’ll probably have to render it frame by frame then find some kinda software to create it into an avi – much like stock motion animation. Sucks!

~~~~~

On another note, I always thought that independance was an intergrated part of me and that I wont be a needy gf. But when I know he’s going outstation, I feel weird. I don’t know how to explain it. Its just weird. He feels bad going. But I want him to go. He needs to go because he has things to do. It’ll be selfish and bad for me to deny him that. I understand everything rationally. And usually, I would even give a second thought about this kinda things.

I don’t know where this irrational feelings come from. I mean, I leave him all the time – Phuket last January, Jakarta this coming June (this one not confirmed yet), KK this coming July, and somewhr – most probably Koh Phangan – end of this year (still in planning). Maybe its because it the first time he will be away. Or maybe its because i broke it off with my first bf when he balik kampung and was taunting me about the fact that he got married. He has always been taunting me about other girls that he has and it was the last straw. So I called it off there and then, over the phone.

Blergh! I dont halang him going – I understand perfectly the reasons why and I accept it. I just feel weird.

Edit: Worst part is, i cant contact him coz he didn’t bring his phone :(
~~~
I don’t have a good feeling about today :(

Sorry this is a bit late. Totally forgot to publish it, even tho I wrote this post already and saved it as a draft. LOL!

Anyway, unlike previous downloads, today I’m bringing you an interesting book by Neil Strauss titled The Game : Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. This book was actually recommended by a guy friend of mine. It tells the story of how a guy learned the tricks of becoming a pickup artist/player. Interesting read.

Review from Amazon:

Are you just another AFC (“average frustrated chump”) trying to meet an HB (“hot babe”)? How would you like to “full-close” with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss’s entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant–complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like “half a man.” That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss’s life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America’s most suave gents–including the best of them all, the God of the pickup “community,” a man named Mystery.

Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he’s turned seduction into an effortless craft–even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman’s tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC–find, meet, attract, close. He employs the “three-second rule”–always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like “Do you think magic spells work?” or “Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?” And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist–smile.

Enjoy boys! Girls, you should read this to know all the dirty tricks the guys use on us :P

Download the pdf version (rapidshare) : [download#6#size]

They say jealousy is part of a healthy relationship. I’ve known girls who purposely makes their boyfriends jealous so that they feel like their bfs really do love them. I myself have tried to test the boundaries of jealousy in my relationship by asking what makes him jealous and what wont.

DiscoveryHealth has this (really) short quiz that you can take to judge how jealous you are in a relationship.

For the heterosexual men, click HERE. For the heterosexual women, click HERE. For the homosexual people, sorry there isn’t a quiz for you :( I don’t make the rules.

Anyway, this is my results:

Score = 16/100

What does your score mean?

Most people experience a certain amount of fear that their loved one could leave them for someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful.

You, on the other hand, appear to have a complete lack of jealous feelings. If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are extremely secure, strong, and independent. You know that if your partner ever leaves you, you will survive with your self-esteem and dignity intact.

You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only fish in the sea, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else.

His on the other hand was a 40/100. LOL! Sounds like a miss independent kinda thing huh? But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you baby :*

Personally, I don’t think that jealousy should be part of the judging of how much you love the person. If you are always so jealous and keep tabs on your other half, its not jealousy, but obsession and controlling. (jgn terasa Pam!)

Like I said earlier, a bit of jealousy is healthy in a relationship but the most important thing is that you must learn to trust each other. Agreed?

Early last month I wrote about the 2nd phase of my relationship. The first is the lovely dovey phase is where you getting to know each other and everything is perfect. There’s a saying that goes, “Even our fart smells like perfume”. LOL!

The second phase is when you start to bicker because all those little things that attract you becomes rather annoying. That’s when all the annoying habits start to surface and the fart turns stinky.

Then if you passed thru that phase, there’s the third phase where you learn to tolerate each other’s habits and also learn to talk it out with each other. I would say that I’m in the 3rd phase now. We’ve settled into a comfortable state where we aren’t too dependant on each other and learn to spend time together and also apart.

And the fourth phase, well, I haven’t been thru that yet.

I guess in every relationship its bound to be like that, many phases. And in each phase there is a possibility of things turning sour. For example, you might not be able to tolerate the habits or annoying stuff of your partner. Or you’ve settled into such a comfortable state that you get too bored of each other.

Best thing to do is to talk it out with each other or with someone else like a therapist. If you live in the East bay, here is a list of marriage therapists livermore.

Just 2 cents from a love newbie :P

I never liked to play the waiting game. It annoys me how some girls (or guys *jeling kat Z*) can just wait for their bf/gf to sms back then wonder every minute why they didn’t contact them. All kinds of things will go thru their mind, "Is he/she with someone else?", "He/she promised to call", "He/she must be busy at work…err..i think so" and then they’ll start overthinking it.

Well, today I was forced to play the waiting game. He had to work at a no-handphones-allowed place so he lent his hp with his sibling for the day. Made me promise not to call/text the whole day Sunday. Promised to call Monday in the wee hours of the morning.

Obviously he didn’t call la kan? If not I won’t be writing this post. Couldn’t sleep anyway so spent time texting my exbf (we parted as friends and besides he’s one of the very few Sarawakian friends I hv here in KL) and also making Brownie Biscuits (very easy biscuits. Recipe at Zestful Eats ). Baking is so theraputic for me. LOL!

Oh, back to the waiting game. So yea, Girls (and guy *jeling Z*) don’t bother waiting for that call/sms. Put your mind on other things that are more productive. Why? Because even if you overanalyze and think so much about it, it wont make him/her call you any faster. Plus, well most of the time you actually do realize and know the real reason why he/she didn’t call.

Like in my case, I’m pretty sure he fell asleep without remembering or perhaps tak larat to call. Ta-daaaa…simple.

p/s: If he/she doesn’t give a good reason. Then you pula give silent treatment lor, two can play at that game. LOL!

I’m sure by now we’ve all heard about the Sufiah Yusof, the mathematical genius who at the tender age of 13 was offered a place in Oxford, who now is a prostitute for a living. Perhaps the only reason why everyone is so kecoh about it is that she’s has a Malaysian mother (she’s British people, get ur facts right!) and is a Muslim.

Exclusive video interview on her confession about sex after the jump!

Sad isn’t it? Though honestly, anyone who was forced into a freezing room by her father to "sharpen her mental skills" would obviously one day rebel and do the exact opposite of what was expected by her right? For me, the saddest part is not that she is now a prostitute or she loves sex (anyone who has had good sex would love sex. D-uh!) but the fact that she thinks that she can never be in a proper relationship.

All the knowledge and money and education in the world would not be enough to trade for a chance at a proper relationship.

Well, Sufiah, I doubt you’ll read this but among all the blogs and forums that speak negatively of you, here’s hoping that you will be happy in whatever life you lead because even tho ppl will kutuk u, ultimately its you who has to live with the consequences rite? so fuck them! Not literally of course, unless they can pay for the Gucci dresses and clutches that you oh so covet. :P

Here’s something i wrote in one of the forums that I joined about this issue:

i tak faham la apesal org mesia nak kecoh sgt. Dier tu bukan malaysian pon, org british. Dah idup dier, lantak la. Yer, mmg salah dari segi agama (mana2 agama yer, bukan muslim saje) tp nanti siapa yg kena jawab? dia sendiri kan? Kita kat sini plak, dlm hidup kita yg selesa (comfort zone) cepat sgt nak tunjuk2 dan kutuk2.

Pernah tak duduk dan borak ngan pelacur? I mengaku I pernah. Minah ni, muda lagi, dlm 2-3 taun lebih tua dari I. I tanya naper dtg jauh dari indoni. Dier kata, kat indon, dier ada anak satu umor 3 tahun. Ex-suami plak kaki botol & pukul so dier tinggalkan suami. Anak bagi mak ayah jaga. Dia plak takde skills/education, so terpaksa menjual tubuh utk menyara anak & ibubapa.

Kita pernah tak fikir apa yg mendorong mereka utk berbuat demikian. Mungkin dlm kes Sufiah ni sbb tekanan lebihan dari masa dier muda2 dulu. Dier kata dier suka sex dan suka pekerjaan dia. Tp mungkin itu hanyalah satu defense mechanism utk justify actions dier (sedapkan hati sendiri).

Biasa la org mesia, benda2 mcm nie, cepat je bagi pendapat dan bergossip. dah mmg kita nyer adat rasanya

p/s: She looks a tad old for 23, perhaps all the sex is taking a toll?
Read the full News of the World (NOTW) article here .