The Zestful IcedNyior

Sorry this is a bit late. Totally forgot to publish it, even tho I wrote this post already and saved it as a draft. LOL!

Anyway, unlike previous downloads, today I’m bringing you an interesting book by Neil Strauss titled The Game : Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. This book was actually recommended by a guy friend of mine. It tells the story of how a guy learned the tricks of becoming a pickup artist/player. Interesting read.

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They say jealousy is part of a healthy relationship. I’ve known girls who purposely makes their boyfriends jealous so that they feel like their bfs really do love them. I myself have tried to test the boundaries of jealousy in my relationship by asking what makes him jealous and what wont.

DiscoveryHealth has this (really) short quiz that you can take to judge how jealous you are in a relationship.

For the heterosexual men, click HERE. For the heterosexual women, click HERE. For the homosexual people, sorry there isn’t a quiz for you I don’t make the rules.

Anyway, this is my results:

Score = 16/100

What does your score mean?

Most people experience a certain amount of fear that their loved one could leave them for someone else. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful.

You, on the other hand, appear to have a complete lack of jealous feelings. If you were honest with yourself while taking the test, this means that you are extremely secure, strong, and independent. You know that if your partner ever leaves you, you will survive with your self-esteem and dignity intact.

You realize that even though you might love your partner very much, s/he is not the only fish in the sea, and that you would eventually find happiness with someone else.

His on the other hand was a 40/100. LOL! Sounds like a miss independent kinda thing huh? But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you baby

Personally, I don’t think that jealousy should be part of the judging of how much you love the person. If you are always so jealous and keep tabs on your other half, its not jealousy, but obsession and controlling. (jgn terasa Pam!)

Like I said earlier, a bit of jealousy is healthy in a relationship but the most important thing is that you must learn to trust each other. Agreed?

Early last month I wrote about the 2nd phase of my relationship. The first is the lovely dovey phase is where you getting to know each other and everything is perfect. There’s a saying that goes, “Even our fart smells like perfume”. LOL!

The second phase is when you start to bicker because all those little things that attract you becomes rather annoying. That’s when all the annoying habits start to surface and the fart turns stinky.

Then if you passed thru that phase, there’s the third phase where you learn to tolerate each other’s habits and also learn to talk it out with each other. I would say that I’m in the 3rd phase now. We’ve settled into a comfortable state where we aren’t too dependant on each other and learn to spend time together and also apart.

And the fourth phase, well, I haven’t been thru that yet.

I guess in every relationship its bound to be like that, many phases. And in each phase there is a possibility of things turning sour. For example, you might not be able to tolerate the habits or annoying stuff of your partner. Or you’ve settled into such a comfortable state that you get too bored of each other.

Best thing to do is to talk it out with each other or with someone else like a therapist. If you live in the East bay, here is a list of marriage therapists livermore.

Just 2 cents from a love newbie

I never liked to play the waiting game. It annoys me how some girls (or guys *jeling kat Z*) can just wait for their bf/gf to sms back then wonder every minute why they didn’t contact them. All kinds of things will go thru their mind, "Is he/she with someone else?", "He/she promised to call", "He/she must be busy at work…err..i think so" and then they’ll start overthinking it.

Well, today I was forced to play the waiting game. He had to work at a no-handphones-allowed place so he lent his hp with his sibling for the day. Made me promise not to call/text the whole day Sunday. Promised to call Monday in the wee hours of the morning.

Obviously he didn’t call la kan? If not I won’t be writing this post. Couldn’t sleep anyway so spent time texting my exbf (we parted as friends and besides he’s one of the very few Sarawakian friends I hv here in KL) and also making Brownie Biscuits (very easy biscuits. Recipe at Zestful Eats ). Baking is so theraputic for me. LOL!

Oh, back to the waiting game. So yea, Girls (and guy *jeling Z*) don’t bother waiting for that call/sms. Put your mind on other things that are more productive. Why? Because even if you overanalyze and think so much about it, it wont make him/her call you any faster. Plus, well most of the time you actually do realize and know the real reason why he/she didn’t call.

Like in my case, I’m pretty sure he fell asleep without remembering or perhaps tak larat to call. Ta-daaaa…simple.

p/s: If he/she doesn’t give a good reason. Then you pula give silent treatment lor, two can play at that game. LOL!