All thanks to Emy for this great idea. I hope that i’ll get at least 100 facts eventually - im juz too damn lazy
But this will have to do….at least until furthur inspiration …tee hee hee

Thanks to some ppl who helped me when i asked them wat they think of me.

1. I move…A LOT. First from Miri to KK, then to 5 or 6 different houses in KK (in 7 yrs) then KK-> Miri 2 times while i was studying. Then Finally to KL…going to move again in Jan 2005 to a house. That’s like 9-10 times in 19 years. Nang kedak nomad la ya
2. I am very talkative and once i get started, I really cannot stop. Especially online or on the phone. Talk talk talk….all my friends know me for that. And people who dislike me, dislike me for that too
3. That said, I’m actually shy. People who first meet me have a first impression that I’m a really quiet gal. That is, until they know me well. Then at that point, they can’t stand me. LOL!
4. People naturally come to me for problems - i also dont kno why - but Im always ready to listen and sometimes offer advice…..but usually just listen. Esp love problems……that’s one thing i really dont understand…i have never been in an “official” relationship and yet…..maybe its coz im a good listener…ehh..bangga plak! {but of course i still like listening to your stories guys!}
5. I like to sleep. Yes, ask anyone in my family or those that have slept over. They’ll all tell you that I can sleep my whole day away. Especially if I havent slept properly during the week, i’ll use weekends to “recharge” {So now u kno why its hard to get me to go out on Sat mornings }
6. So, I am NOT a morning person. In fact, i HATE mornings. In the mornings, I’m at my most irritatable (sp?) and most short tempered. No one messes with me in the morning. However, i can go for more than 2 days straight without sleeping. And i can still wake up with 1 hr sleep.
7. WYSIWYG - What you see is what you get. This is the real me. Yes, i usually look happy-go-lucky because I do feel that way most of the time. But of course they are bad days for me…like wat a guy fren commented, “when bad mood…..sure can tell….just look at the face…if got frown a bit already know something wrong..even she smile when she’s sad, still can tell”
8. As much as I like listening to ppl’s probs, I dont really like to talk about mine. I always had the philosophy of not “burdening others with my probs” as I like to call it. However this doesnt mean that I’m a shut tight clam that never reveals herself. I keep some to myself, and share the others.
9. I like to spend time alone. Esp if im irritated, angry or frustrated, i’d prefer to go to my room, slam d door and juz rant, get angry and scream by myself until I calm down. its also less complicated wif no one around. No many people has seen me actually angry, and from what i’ve heard, I’m really scary when Im really mad.
10. Believe it or not, I always wanted to be a guy. My best childhood friend (we were born & grew up in the same hse for a year or so) and I were always friends with the guys. Playing hockey (my fren ended up as a division-level player), football, bicycle, skates, while other gals our age were playing “masak-masak”. That was ages ago…

I kno im a bit outdated….well okay, not a bit, but A LOT outdated.

I juz watched “The Butterfly Effect” on DVD starring Ashton Kutcher (yes, Demi Moore’s boy-toy LOL!) and Amy Smart (not sure who she is) but she looks familiar….

Anyway, so the story is about this guy (Ashton obviously) that can somehow go back to his past to change things. The thing is, everytime he changes something, someone around him suffers - either his mom, his gf, his gf’s bro or his best friend - or even he himself.

A bit of background. I liked the introductionary (sp) phrase given….it was about the Chaos Theory, not sure if u’ve heard it before that goes something like….a flutter of a butterfly’s wing can cause a typhoon in the other side of the world. To explain it better is maybe to imagine a stone thrown in a lake: a small ripple starts that continues and expands till it reaches the side of the lake. Meaning a small thing can make a significant difference.

So it got me thinking…what I do today does have its consequences. Mayb not today, or next week…but maby next month, next year, 10 years. Or mayb not me, not my family….but mayb my neighbours, or someone i meet across the street.

Like how if you say one sentence and the person hearing it is traumatized for life. That’s why i dont call my sisters by pet names, coz it sticks to them. Or if u say one wrong word and the person hearing it is offended. In my case, it happened juz yesterday. I was flirting with this guy on online pool and i jokingly passed a comment that he was a perv. Then he terasa and got all offended and he said it ruined the chemistry we had before that. It got to the point that he said he would want to say anything s*xual {have to censor it for those in Curtin to be able to read..LOL!} to a gal anymore. I felt so bad about it and kept apologizing but finally he didnt want to reply me back. I’ve learnt my lesson before that i have to keep controling this mulut laser of mine but i need to be re-taught all the time

So today, i’ll end with a poem. Yes, one of my own….written at the end of 2002 - before my senior year exams.

An Awakening Of ReasonWhen I look around me and I hear happy laughs
Of groups of friends happily talking and having fun
As they enjoy friendship alone at this corner I observe
I often wonder what’s inside behind the mask of mirth

Maybe some secret wound inside which no one ever sensed
Due to some hidden hurt someone inflicted on them
Then I think of the many times I failed to heal those wounds
Inside hearts of friends and family of which I might have caused

I think of times which I failed to brighten up your day
But instead making it worse by my actions or what I say
I realize now that I was wrong I looked like I didn’t care
I was heartless and cruel at what I did or said

So here all I want to say is I shouldn’t wait another day
To say that I really do care I’m sorry if it didn’t seem that way
Would you please forgive me?

Copyright 2003 CoCoNut^iCe

Read more of my poems here

I added a new feature to my sidebar on the left. A scrolling up marquee with a list of my goals. It all started when I was reading an article on Mandy Moore and it was about the things she wanted to do before she hit the big three-oh (that’s 30 lah). So i decided to do the same. Here’s the full list even tho I dont have a lot of things in it yet. The ones in italics are my comments

Things I want to do
Eat at Nando’s {been craving for Nando’s chicken for bout 2 weeks now. Im not sure why}
Go To Miri to visit frens & take my stuff {I miss ppl in Miri!! Also I left so many things behind}
Go to Bintulu to go see Lola {I miss Lola badly :’(}
Move hse (Jan 2005) {Im moving to a new hse in Jan…the condo we’re renting is too small}
Upgrade PC Graphic Card {My graphic card is outdated a bit…i want to play d newest games la!!}

Must complete before 30
In no particular order
1. Go whitewater rafting {Done in 2003…with Gloria & Erin}
2. Bungee jumping {Hehe! Im a little bit scared of heights but constantly trying to get over it}
3. Sky diving {Same as above}
4. Attend a Hoobastank concert {I missed them the last time they were here!! :’( Doug Robb is CUTE!!}
5. Get an Apple iPod mini in white {Ever since it first came out many many years ago, i’ve always wanted it. Now the iPod mini is even nicer!!}
6. Publish a collection of my poems {Currently only 1 of my poems is published in a book “Shells on the Shore” published by Poetry.Com. I plan to have a whole collection of my poems in print Would u buy it?}
7. Travel to at least 1/3 of the world {So far i’ve only been to Brunei, Thailand & Brisbane/Gold Coast in Australia. I havent even been to Singapore}

Oh yes, and after reading Kak Wynn’s blog, I decided that it is very smart to colour code the messages. So from now on, all words in BM or any other foreign language will be in light purple. And all comments will be in light blue. All links will be in light red. More colours to come later…………..
Juz hope i remember to actually colour code it…ahhaha

I’ve been winning all my online pool games….feeling lucky today
~~*~~
Current mood: feeling lucky
Now Listening to: All Hoobastank songs - Particularly “The Reason” - I found the reason for me, to change who i used to be, the reason to start over new.
Recommended: [Rate: 0/10] Unkymoods.com - Set of cute hand-drawn (more like scribbled) moods for ur blog or website

As u can see *peeks at time at the bottom* it’s late and Im not sleeping yet. So juz wanted to add a post but it turned out into a poem. LOL!

The cold air blows from the outside
Chilling me as the ceiling fan whirrs slowly
A cockerel crows in the distance
Heard early in the morning - 5 amI’m sitting in the dark
In silence, all alone
As my fingers typing on the keyboard
Is the only sound heard in d house

Others are in their beds
Blissfully sleeping soundly
And whisked away in dreams
Traveling in worlds unknown

Here I am, missing you
Wishing you were here
Wishing I could hug you
But reality hits me hard

“I’m here without you baby,
But you’re still on my lonely mind”
The song plays in my head
Mocking me with it’s true words

I reminisce of the times we spent together
The joys & laughter we shared
But now we’re miles apart
And missing you brings an ache to my heart

I miss you…….

Dedicated to all my friends, but most especially Lola in Bintulu & Grace in Kuching.

There u go….freshly baked poem. Wow! havent been able to write a spontanteous (sp?) poem since about 4 years ago. So here I am, missing frens and unable to sleep. Cant seem to figure out why I cant sleep :S Mayb I think too much…..just cant close my eyes. Well, im definatly staying up till dawn today coz I have to catch the bus at 8am meaning gotta get up around 7am or earlier if i want to go for breakfast…hungry bah in d morning

Oh yeah…i sent the sample website to the company already. So all I gotta do is cross my fingers and hope that they like it. Coz it’s totally very very simple. But i added a javascript dropdown menu and created all the graphics myself. So im hoping that’s a plus side for me

I kinda need the money (RM 500-600 or MORE) coz I want to get a few things….want to get a handphone USB cable coz want to upload d pics in my hp to my computer so I can post pics easily. Plus i have a secret wish to fulfil. But dont wana mention it coz i dont want to count my chickens before they hatch. Hehe~!

Well, i guess that’s it. I need to pretend im sleeping before my parents wake up
~~*~~
Current mood: Melancholic
Now Listening to: “Im here without you” by Three Doors Down - Im here without you baby, but you’re still on my lonely mind, I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. Im here without you baby, but you’re still with me in my dreams. And tonight, its only you and me

Went to church this morning and fell asleep a few times during d sermon coz slept late (as usual….wat else can u expect from me? )

Met up with Icha & Resa at KL Central then brought them to Subang Jaya using the KTM to meet up wif Isla, Heidi & Debbie. Heidi & Isla’s cousin - esma - joined us. So the 7 of us went to Midvalley to shop (Resa & Icha) while d rest of us ate lunch. Debbie left us after lunch to go stay at her bf’s mother’s hse. Then we walked around Midvalley window shopping…well, actually its me window shopping and d others buying stuff. The only thing i bought was a simple wallet…costs only rm 8.90…hehe…but nice.

So before we went back, we were walking in thru Midvalley foodcourt and i wuz talking to heidi when suddenly i looked up and realized JLo like sitting on the table rite in front of me. I got really terkejut coz he wuz like rite in front of me and said to Heidi “Hey Jason Lo lah!!” And i think it came out juz a bit TOO LOUD coz he looked up and looked at us with a blur look to see who mentioned his name. He wuz like juz staring at Heidi & I….

I wuz SO EMBARASSED!!! I think he knew it wuz me coz he looked at me straight in the eye. LOL!! And heidi did say I wuz too loud…haha…Terkejut mah!!! Aiyah!! He wuz sitting thr eating wif this old european lady (i assume is his mom) and this other person (which i didnt notice…dunno if guy or gal). The moment he looked up and look at me i kinda cabut lari coz kinda obvious it wuz me…hopefully no one else around noticed *cross fingers*

Oh yeah..b4 i forget….a fren might bring me out Thurs nite but nothing is confirmed yet so im not really hoping…coz i dont want to wait in anticipation den after that tak jadi….like on Sat….so frustrating.
~~*~~
Current mood: Embarassed

Now Listening to: Aerith’s Theme - FF VII Piano Collection

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO ME!!!!!!!!IM 19 TODAY