I know that we have actually resolved this….but I still MUST give a reply. Blogger was down the other day so cant comment on the post itself.

Answer me this….when a person has to decide between his/her best fren and his/her bf/gf…..how do you expect that person to choose??

well, IF…and i stress the big IF here….the I even KNEW that the bf existed…then I would have never asked that person to choose. I would have tolerated the bf for the sake of my friend. And I didnt ask her to choose. She had already chosen. She was taking his side over mine, saying that I was the one who always made him angry, I was the one who made comments that annoyed him. Hello?!?! If you dont like it, tell me for fuck’s sake, I’d stop. Everyone who is close to me knows that im straight forward and that if they come to me and say honestly that they dont like this or that about me, I accept it and try to change.

It is just not logical at all and makes both the person as well and the gf/bf hurt and confused. Not only does the person feel bad but it makes it as if the bf/gf is to blame and that just isn’t fair.

It is NOT logical to be offended over a passing remark (like saying your car is messy or asking why you didnt do a certain thing a certain way). It is NOT logical to sneak around behind my back. It is NOT logical after an outing, to say that you want to go back early (because you’re “tired” or “have something to do”) but the actual fact is you want to send me back so that you can continue dating.

Yes…she SHOULD feel bad (evil as that sounds) because she should have known me well enough to know that all this has been avoided had she NOT made the option to lie. Im a very reasonable person (im sure most people would agree) but one thing that really ticks me off is being lied to - especially by someone close.

A best fren is supposed to support that fren and be happy that he/she has found somebody….not lash out at them and force them to choose. That just isn’t fair at all.

I actually suspected it a long long time ago (as did everyone else….do you think we’re blind?) and many people have been asking me about it but I said I dont kno. Then when I asked her, she said “No, we’re just good friends” and being the stupid and all trusting best friend, I believed her, no questions asked.

Now, you tell me, how can I be happy, if I didnt even KNOW that she found someone? So she gave the excuse that I “might not approve”. Even if I didn’t approve, I would still respect and support your decision. Its your decision and your life. I dont have the authority to make your decisions (and neither does anyone else).

The only reason I lashed out was that I couldnt see the reason why she had to be forced to be the middle person. If the bf didnt like it…he could come straight to me, not use her

Me of all ppl noes how this feels. It hurt big time to lose a good fren.

Im not so silly as to blow off a friendship because of some stupid like this. ‘Nuff said.

this just isn’t fair for any of the 3 of us…..pls just come back 2 ur senses again….i dun want to break up a perfect frenship….you know hu u r…i’m begging u….dun break up the frenship because of me.

Im NOT angry, I’m not pissed off. I am, however, VERY DISSAPOINTED. It goes to show how much she (and the bf) actually knows about me.

I wont break up the friendship but I hope that you dont expect me to go on as if nothing happened. I still cant believe that you dont even dare to tell me honestly. I think I need a little time alone now.

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Its been a hard week. Not so much about the situation juz mentioned - that only constitutes 20% - but something else happened, something that reduced me to tears (something I havent done for a long time) and depression and feeling really crappy. Im so glad its all over.

On a positive side:
(1) I finished my website project juz that I need to change a few things because the ‘client’ byk songeh…keep wanting to change this and that. After it’s done, i’ll link it here.

(2) Managed to lepak with the Mosin gang after a long absence, went to a McD in Ampang. Ketawa like crazy

(3) I’m going out drinking tonite on someone else’s tab. Yippie!! free drinks what a great way to end a fucked up week.

• …someone makes fun of my efforts when I want to do something
• …I find out that some guys who contact me are just looking for sex
• ….someone I care about says I dont remember him because I haven’t been contacting him
• …you do something for me just out of obligation- because you owe me something - not out of sincerity
• …something I said that is meant as a joke or careless remark is taken so seriously
• ….someone accuses me of making her friend angry when I did practically nothing
• …I’m supposed to jaga hati the aforesaid friend because he is not in a good mood/has had a bad day/is sensitive/has prob
• …I learnt that you can lose the people who say they are your best friends
• …I know that I’ve been left out from many things
• …I am the last person to find out things
• …I realize that I dont know my friends as much as I thought I did. And neither do they know me

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Been on a roller coaster the past few days - alternating between highs of happiness and lows of depression. Last weekend was when I really managed to feel relaxed - just being able to do what I want, eat good food, have lots of sleep, soak in the bathtub to soothe my stress away.

Monday & Tuesday had full classes. Been so busy that its taking it’s toll on my sleeping patterns and my moods. Feel easily provoked lately. If Im not disturbed, im ok, but sometimes certain people seem to want to annoy me. Have to finish a website project that I’ve been procrastinating about beacuse the client is really vague about what she wants. Have big assignments coming up. I dont understand my database lecturer because he cannot teach (i found out today that I’m not the only one who is blur).

Took a bus on Tues evening to OU. Managed to force invite “a nagak” to temankan me to watch movie and have dinner. I had fun thanks dear, u made my day.

Have to drop everything unimportant this week. I noticed the scrolling msg on the right is soo outdated. Havent been visiting websites either. hardly even chat online - am always using the Busy status (but some people just love to keep messaging - “which part of B-U-S-Y dont you effing understand?!?!”). I hope (and really wish) that my life would go back to its normal state by the end of this week. I need time out…and I need it soon..

tot about blogging about Mel’s (pictures are in my flickr) staying over before she left for the US but am currently very annoyed at something and ALOT of people. So i’ll leave it till im in a less shitty mood.

Allow me to vent my frustrations:
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
*i wish i could post a sound clip…then u can hear the feelings in my voice*
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On another note, One Night Stands is already up and running after Nick’s meddling with the template. But at least now he knows not to touch it anymore. I spent TWO DAYS on that coding. Managed to finish it up today tho.

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On yet another note, i might hv my streamyx up and running by tomorrow so keep ur fingers crossed.

I got into a big fight with my parents today. What started off as a simple argument turned out into a full-blown fight. It started with my Mom assuming that I made a mess, when actually it wasn’t me. She still continued scolding, then i also fought back coz she got the wrong person.

Then my dad got into the picture, and of course took my mom’s side. Then they ungkit (bring up) everything they weren’t satisfied about from before till now. So me being rebellious & sarcastic also lawan balik. One of my sisters who was there juz laughed at the whole thing and that made me even more pissed off.

So we ended the fight by screaming at each other and I changed and proceeded to walk out of the house. My dad was shocked and tried to stop me, asking me where i was going to go but I just untangled myself from his grip and walked away - on foot - to god knows where.

I went to reload my hp at a nearby shop & eat dinner - which i havent taken even tho it was almost 10pm - then had to decide what to do at that point. I had a few options :

(a) Stay over at my ex-bf’s place just so that I dont have to go home - but he’ll try to pujuk me to get back together with him, which is something I don’t want to do. Plus, I’ll be indebted to him for taking care of me.

(b) Lepak with friends - but Erin went back to KK, Nick had a family dinner and P was at office

(c) Hang around in that mamak stall till morning - but I’ll be dead bored and look really pathetic

Decided to meet P at his office and later go out mamaking with Nick at Bangsar - since i din really eat anything earlier. I think my eyes look swollen abit due to all the crying. Took a taxi to KJ & went down to KLCC.

My dad smsed something along the lines of “I-care-for-you-take-care” kind of thing which he uses EVERYTIME we have an argument. So i replied saying that its meaningless to me already.

Feel like dont want to go back
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Current mood: Cranky
Now Listening to: My LaunchCast Station

I sent off an email to a blogger because I was having problems with a blog comment. Me (being stupidly naive) thought there was something up with the Haloscan because a few of my other friends have the same problem, so i emailed the blog owner as follows:

Dear Madam,

I was wondering if your Haloscan comments were in top working order. This is because I have commented numerous times but none of them seem to appear after a day or so. I hope that they were not accidently deleted because I kno that other people gave the exact same comment as mine and were not deleted.

Thank you for your time
~F

And the result was the comment *points at first comment by Ms Intan* Is it just me, or is the writer of the comment…no, not the copy-paste-er…being defensive? Plus, wouldnt the writer of that comment be pissed off at the copy-paste-er for copypasting her comments without her permission?

I dont kno what makes people look at everything in such a negative way so much so that an innocent email is viewed so differently, for example: viewed as a direct accusation or threat or pointing fingers at someone.

Do you think i really CARE whether or not the comment is deleted? I wouldnt give a rat’s ass!! I just wanted to inform the blog owner if there were any problems in her comment box because I had that problem once when using Haloscan. Which is why I dont use it anymore (plus i had a hard time implementing it into my current template)

Oh well, cant help what people think especially if they come from the older generation….

i wrote a long post yesterday but my friend accidently closed my window before i could save it *cries* so I mcm malas want to rewrite. Sayang only

People were asking how was my merdeka. For the past two days I’ve been drinking, sleeping, eating, talking, walking around KL, drinking, onlining, talking, sleeping, drinking, eating, onlineing (in that exact order)

continue tomolo……