Classes have started today far far away in Cyberjaya (bout 40 mins + 20 mins for jam). So I can go online and start blogging again. Yay! I miss my blog and all my blogging frens *huggles* and I was rotting out of boredom at home. During the holidays it was fun skodenging anak makcik and melepakkan diri @ Mont Kiara ngan poke, jin, max, pand dll yg terlibat (eh..they’re all guys)

I followed Erin and joined the LKW choir and made friends with some freshies. I even met a former uni mate from indonesia. We’re performing for some Merdeka Day Celebration. There are 3 songs, KeranaMu, a song dedicated to our Prime Minister, and another song. My next practice is on Wed morning, 9 am.

It’s the first day of my new semester in degree and so far I’ve had 2 classes. One of my lecturer is actually a Mirian like me. I have 5 subjects so on most days I start at 10 am and finish around 4 pm. This week lots of my classes are cancelled coz it’s the introductory week. There are tons of freshies in Uni, sometimes stopping me to ask where are certain classes or places. Hehe! Half of my class are new students, the rest did their foundation in LKW earlier. In my class of 30 students, only 3 are girls. Looks like this will be an interesting semester. Sadly I don’t have any lab or programming classes but its ok

I had an interesting time yesterday nite. A friend of mine came down from Kelantan and we went meronggeng-ing. Walked from Bkt Bintang to Bangkok Jazz-not to mention we got lost too. And it was raining cats and dogs so we got so wet and it was cold. Brr…that’s the last time I’m going to walk around in the pouring rain smack in the middle of KL. It was fun tho - walking in the rain I mean. Bangkok Jazz is a nice quiet place with the DJ playing soothing jazz songs, especially my favourite - Sway by Michael Bublè. My friend actually knows the DJ so we could request what songs we liked.

Well we were hoping for a quiet nite just to drink but there was this bunch of hinese guys at the next table who kept ‘yam seng’-ing so it was kinda noisy but still nice. Had 2-3 jugs of tiger between 3 of us. My fren kept insisting I should drink a “girlie drink” because beer is for MEN. So I had a kahlua+milk
(yummy and sweet) and vodka+ribena (not nice…tasted funny). Actually i was asking for absolute vodka kurant (which is berry infused vodka - very sweet smelling) but the lady got it wrong i guess. Oh well.

After that, we got sick of all that jazz and went to 7E and got more drinks - 4 tins each. My friend was pretty impressed by then. It was the first time we went drinking together. After we tipsy tipsy owedi, we went to sleep. I keep waking up in the middle of the night so I was pretty tired. Then at 11.30 am, we woke up, then went to have lunch. I had Garlic naan and tandoori chicken somewhere opposite Lowyat.

After that i went to KJ LRT station then went to Ikano by taxi. The taxi driver didnt kno where it was..so I had to show the way. Then he got a call on his hp and I heard him speak Sabah malay. So that explains why he doesnt kno the roads. So i asked him if he was from Sabah. Then I pasang my Sabah Malay and explained that I stayed in Sabah for 7 yrs before but Im Sarawakian. Then he said he was from Sepilok but his family is staying in Putatan. After that he gave me a discount on my taxi fare…less than a dollar difference but every cent is money la.
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Oh yea, I checked my results and found out that I credited all my subjects. 1A, 2Bs and 2Cs. The Cs are business subjects, the A is Webtech. My parents are pleased. Yay! So next is my first year degree

Im now going back home (im in Ikano for almost 3 hours already) and take a MUCH NEEDED REST. My eyes are red from lack of sleep and I feel a bit dehydrated and pening coz Im tired. Ciou!

Often times I find that there is way too much things on my mind, that they are struggling to get out. Sometimes when I talk, I have so much to say that it words tumble out in no particular order (Im very quiet at certain times tho - total extremities). I have never been someone who thinks before she talks, everything is straight from the heart and out the mouth. There are times when Iregret what I say but there is no way to take it back.

Which is why I prefer writing, because you always have time to proofread, correct and edit. Perhaps its in my blood to be creative. I hv cousins who are artists, musicians and/or singers and anyone who’s met my dad would say he is a born entertainer/comedian. LOL! In fact, I found out recently that my uncle is a local writer who sometimes writes under the pseudonym “Midnight Magician” (oneof his books was used in for STPM english literature - not sure about now tho).

I started writing poems when I was 16, I think it was about friendship but unfortunately I never kept a copy. Since then I have been scribbling on bits of paper - receipts, textbooks, I even remember writing a poem during my English PMR exam in school (after I finished answering the paper in less than an hr). Hehe! I notice however, that most of the poems in my poem blog (http://poemdance.blogspot.com) seem rather depressing and yearning for a way to escape. That’s because some of them are written at the worst times of my life - when i was depressed or hurt badly.

I havent really been in a writing mood the past few months but now im starting to read and write more then i did before (without the Internet, i have to find other distractions to fill my mind. Lol! I’ll try to upload most of mynew poems here and in the Poem Dance blog

But some people never realize the impact of what their words can mean to
some people. Parents especially. I have a very close friend who used to have a
serious case of low self-esteem (yes my dear, i am talking bout you -
without using names of course). I was kind of curious why she was that way
(being the ke-poh i am ), so she became my “case study”. While I listened to
her problems about life, family, studies, I also analyzed it to find out the
reason. And I found out that one of the major contributing factors was that her
parents constantly compared her with her other smarter (and more favoured)
siblings. Which I found was very unfair. My parents did that at one point, but i
spoke up against it (in other words, we had a big fight about it) and then only
did my parents realized that they were showing favoritism towards my younger
sisters, which cause resentment in me. But this is not about me.

Back to my friend. Because she was constantly the “underdog” at home, she
tried her best to become the best. She is actually quite smart (smarter than me
) but her parents say its not good enough (sadly). Her mother also often
criticizes her weight & appearance. My friend is not fat, she’s (I think) the
perfect size and weight but because she is short, maybe that’s why she looks
bigger a bit. Sometimes i wonder what her mom thinks of me since im overweight.
hehe! aiyak, i got distracted again.

Well, after listening to her complain (it was getting boring and cynical
after a while) I told her straight to her face what her problem was, and how not
to think so much about “what people think” but be assured in yourself and do
what you think is right. It is after all your life you kno. Then after that, her
masalah was better, she’s tons happier now (i think. You’re happier now, arent
you?). Hehe! Ok so here’s a poem I wrote while i was thinking of you but no title
yet. Im waiting for you to give me a suitable title babe.

A girl learning to be a woman
On her journey in the sea of life
Trying her hardest to hold on
As her vessel threatens to sink

Her perception of herself
Is that she is second best
Everything she is and does
Is never enough, never good

Never enough to satisfy those around her
Who poison her mind with words
Finding fault is what she does
In who she is

Tossed and turned by the tempest
Her life is hard, troubled and fill with misery
She is disheartened by what she hears
Failing to please everyone

My heart aches for her
How I long to protect, to teach her
To make her believe in herself
And to ignore the nagging whispers

For these whispers bring nothing but destruction
Of life, of self-image and of hope
One should do what one believes is right
And stand firm to uphold what one believes

~ 8 july 04-0300hrs

Actually, I wonder what parents & mothers think of this post. This is based on my own experiences and analyzing but I’ll be happy to hear feedback from Aunty N and her geng atau parents lain (esp yg byk anak ikan itew) or org yg baru kawin or a rebellious princess or
Cik Blur AND OF COURSE anyone else yg terhegeh-hegeh nak komen. {Si Peminat Udang & War Pak Joe tu takkan komenla rasanya}

Some guys came to fix up the wardrobe yesterday. They took so long, from like 10 am till around 3-4 pm but my mom is happy with the results. I’ve got a big 7 X2 feet waredrobe that stretches from ceiling to floor.

Then we went to IKEA to look for study tables & beds. And I found one study table I like, going to buy it soon. My room looks a little cramp and small la but its ok. Will take a picture of it soon.

I’ve been really creative lately, i wrote two poems last nite. Read them here.

In the blink of an eye, its already July. Im sick today,
sore throat and flu. Yesterday, I went karaoke-ing with some friends at around 4
pm then we had dinner at Road House before going to lepak till 2 sumthing at
Bora in Ampang.

On a sad note, my abang angkat in Miri had been promoted to
branch manager, meaning that he is going to be permanent there even tho he’s
based in KL previously. I was kinda hoping that he would be transferred back
here.. We used to hang around and talk about all sorts of things. And he was
very protective of me and caring. I miss him a lot.

My other abg angkat in KK has applied to work at the
Sarawak government (he’s Sarawakian too) so he might be moving to Kuching in
Sept. Depends on whether he’s accepted or not. My two best friends, Grace and
Lola, are there too. Grace is studying in UiTM and Lola is working in Miri.
Seems like everyone I hold dear is at/going to Sarawak.

I want to go back