Nope, is not a good day for me today.

• For starters, my presentation for my final project is this afternoon (more on that later.
• I didn’t get enough sleep. My fault perhaps.
• I can’t figure out why the registration part of my project isn’t working on my laptop. Its my third attempt to run it. I tried online, on my pc and finally on my laptop.
• I’m doing last minute work and I don’t like it
• I found out that apparently the presentations were postponed to Thursday and Friday and the timetables (for the timing slots) were only released today
• None of my classmates who went early to campus (coz there was this interview thingy for ppl who were interested) bothered to tell me when my slot was
• I had to go all the way to Cyberjaya just to check a timetable and see what time my slot was
• I found out that my name was not on the list. Yeap, my name was NOT in the final project presentation list. Crazy rite? I had to ring up a number of lecturers before being told that I should just come on Friday at 3pm. Great, pushed to the very end - where the lecturers are already tired and cranky.
• Met up with a fellow classmate and her project looks nice - she’s taking a different course so its Java based.
• Two accidents on the way back caused huge jams on the LDP.
• Was hungry coz didn’t really eat much for lunch and called a few friends, but everyone was busy

I am *this* close to throwing in the towel and giving up. Repeat pon repeat lah. I should hv gone to study in London when I had the chance, would have eliminated all this drama. *sigh*

Where are you when I need you the most.

I’m feeling very demotivated lately. I’m not sure if its the stress of exams or not. I’m sure a few of my friends have heard me saying that I want to defer my final sem and re-do it next sem. They think I’m joking.

This week or so, I have no drive and no energy to do anything. My mom would call it being malas. But its not that I’m malas. Its just that for some weird reason my heart is not into this. I’m not eating properly, I’m not sleeping properly. I feel like drawing the curtains so that its nice and dark in my room and curl up underneath my comforter and sleep for months.

This is the first time I have so many projects lined up all at one time. I missed the deadline for one of it already. One of the major ones. And that one also I couldn’t do it perfectly because I have no idea how to. I’m sending it in today, a week overdue. Basically, every bit of my work for the finals is half-heartedly done.

All this makes me wish that instead of projects, I have exam papers - like students in other courses. Projects all at one time overwhelm me. With exams, making notes and memorizing and cramming is what I do best.

When I tell people about this, all they say is, “wait till u start working. It’s even harder. Study life is your honeymoon life - enjoy memanjang”. Well, fuck you la! I’m sure u felt the same way when you were in college/uni. I’m sure at that point of time the world felt like it was going to crash down on you and bury you under its rubble. And studying now is WAAAYY different from the time that you were studying. There was less pressure to succeed and be perfect then.

At this point of time, I would trade anything, yes ANYTHING, to be able to defer my semester without any hassle or my parents making a bit fuss out of it.

I feel miserable *cries*

p/s: If you can’t get me on my phone, don’t be surprised. I need time out.

Yes, what’s new. Especially now that I’ve got tons of work to do. I’m feeling cranky and irritable.

I’m home alone for four days, from yesterday till Saturday. My family went to Jakarta. They’re having a ball of a time over there. The reason I couldn’t go was because I have a deadline this Friday. Its actually a good thing I didn’t go coz I had to go and pick up my exam slip this week.

So yesterday I sent them off at KLIA then dropped by Cyberjaya then went back to Kota Dsara, then he called and asked if we could meet up so I shot off straight to his place (a 40 min drive), went for dinner there. Then I got a call from Aree asking us to play Catan so we went home, took a shower then wen to her place and ended up going home at 2.30am.

Woke up so early this morning to send him off then cleaned up the house - washed all the dishes (the family left with a pile of dishes for me to clean), washed all my clothes and the clothes that’s been left soaking (also left for me to settle), and cleaned my toilet which has been dirty for some time. LOL

*He* tak jadi to come back this evening. He wanted to go back home to rest and do laundry. Like he can’t do it at my house la? Perhaps I’m too much of a distraction? Well, it would hv been nice to tell me earlier like this morning so that I won’t be hoping as much and feeling cranky now.

Oh, and to make matters worst, it rained again this evening while I was sleeping so all my clothes are wet. And it happened also YESTERDAY. Dammit!

p/s: I might not be contactable until Friday because I got lots of work to catch up with so when I do sleep, it will be at weird hours and my phone will be on silent.

p.s.s : Can I say that I’m absolutely so jealous my family is in Jakarta? They’re staying in a 2 bedroom service aprtment in one of the most expensive hotels there - The Ritz Carlton (company’s paying for it coz my dad has a meeting/conf there).

Okay I wrongly guessed the date of my exams. They’re later than I expected. So apparently I’ll be busy for much longer. Starting next week my schedule is packed with completing and passing up assignments. Sorry if I won’t be able to update as regularly as before. I should be completed in 2-3 weeks. Phew

I went for my 3ds presentation yesterday. I have a robot-like character in a box. The story is, the character wakes up and stands up and walk towards the door. He (or rather, it) tries to open the door using the door knob but its locked. Then it takes a chainsaw and tries to saw the door down. He fails. Then he gets an axe and tries to chop it down. Finally he decides to run and push against the door.

So anyway, I showed it to my lecturer the other day. He said it was okay but my animation was a bit too slow I lost around half marks for that. The other major thing that was missing in my animation was lighting. I didn’t have enough lights to brighten up my scene so the scene looks dull and rather plain. Another thing was I didn’t have any lights inside my box so the robot was dark. He encouraged me to use spotlights - in real life it would be something like Golights - to shine on the robot.

I think that lighting is very important in 3d, especially if you’re creating something realistic. This is because you have to ensure that all the shadows and stuff are correct - just like in real life.

Still so much work to be done on my project. *sigh*

Click to see a bigger pic

Haih~~ Im almost finishing my 3d project and decided to test out the rendering to see how long it will take. Then I find out that it crashes everytime I want to render it as a video (either AVI or MOV). Probably because I’m using the pirated version, I don’t know.

Im trying to complete it ASAP (sometime this afternoon) and then I’ll send it to a friend of mine who will try to render it for me. But I’m not really sure of what version he’s using and he can’t promise to deliver it on time (I need it by Tuesday for my presentation).

Worst come to the worst, I’ll probably have to render it frame by frame then find some kinda software to create it into an avi - much like stock motion animation. Sucks!

~~~~~

On another note, I always thought that independance was an intergrated part of me and that I wont be a needy gf. But when I know he’s going outstation, I feel weird. I don’t know how to explain it. Its just weird. He feels bad going. But I want him to go. He needs to go because he has things to do. It’ll be selfish and bad for me to deny him that. I understand everything rationally. And usually, I would even give a second thought about this kinda things.

I don’t know where this irrational feelings come from. I mean, I leave him all the time - Phuket last January, Jakarta this coming June (this one not confirmed yet), KK this coming July, and somewhr - most probably Koh Phangan - end of this year (still in planning). Maybe its because it the first time he will be away. Or maybe its because i broke it off with my first bf when he balik kampung and was taunting me about the fact that he got married. He has always been taunting me about other girls that he has and it was the last straw. So I called it off there and then, over the phone.

Blergh! I dont halang him going - I understand perfectly the reasons why and I accept it. I just feel weird.

Edit: Worst part is, i cant contact him coz he didn’t bring his phone
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I don’t have a good feeling about today