Waiting… | Untitled1 | My Life, Not Yours | Melancholic Rain | Missing You | Crimson Butterfly | Undecided | Childhood Memories | Tears | River Dance | An Awakening of Reason | A Loved One Lost | It is Love | One Love | A Special Gift | That fateful night | Did You Ever Notice?
She appears intent in her task
Of writing, studying, reading
With head bent dilligently over the books
Eyes scanning the page quickly
But what the casual observer does not know
Is the anxious wondering of her heart
What time would it be tonight?
Will her heart’s want be fulfiled?
Loving thoughts of her loved one
Separated from her by distance
Too far to touch, to feel, to hold
But near in heart and in mind
The waiting, watching vigil she keeps
Night after night of anticipation
Of hoping against hope
That a ring would pierce the silent night
~ 8 july 05-0230hrs
Dedicated to a friend of mine who has problems with self-esteem
A girl learning to be a woman
On her journey in the sea of life
Trying her hardest to hold on
As her vessel threatens to sink
Her perception of herself
Is that she is second best
Everything she is and does
Is never enough, never good
Never enough to satisfy those around her
Who poison her mind with words
Finding fault is what she does
In who she is
Tossed and turned by the tempest
Her life is hard, troubled and fill with misery
She is disheartened by what she hears
Failing to please everyone
My heart aches for her
How I long to protect, to teach her
To make her believe in herself
And to ignore the nagging whispers
For these whispers bring nothing but destruction
Of life, of self-image and of hope
One should do what one believes is right
And stand firm to uphold what one believes
~ 8 july 05-0300hrs
My Life, Not Yours
For what should I do
What do I say
I want to yell, scream
I tread the path of life
Unsure which path to take
Society give rules, regulations
Which I must conform, follow
Its like being contained in a glass box
Being able to look out
But unable to be free, move around
Pounding on the glass in vain
Why can’t I be myself
To be free, spread my wings
To soar, to touch the skies
To live life as I want to
Its my life anyway….
June 12, 2005
Wrote this in the bus while it was raining and the song “Emotions” by Destiny’s Child was playing on the radio.
I stood near my window today,
Watching the rain fall,
Letting go of all thoughts,
Just closing my eyes and listening.
The rumbling thunder in the distance,
Water trickling down my window,
Droplets of rain on the glass,
Making soft pattering like children running.
Like washing my pain away,
My hurts, my pain, my life,
Evoking emotions deep inside,
Bringing longing to my heart.
Longing for home, for the people I miss,
For the memories I hold dear,
For the loved ones I left behind,
And a single tear, like rain, flows down my cheek.
This was a spontaneous poem written late at nite (5am !) while I was especially missing my 2 best friends.
The cold air blows from the outside
Chilling me as the ceiling fan whirrs slowly
A cockerel crows in the distance
Heard early in the morning – 5 am
I’m sitting in the dark
In silence, all alone
As my fingers typing on the keyboard
Is the only sound heard in d house
Others are in their beds
Blissfully sleeping soundly
And whisked away in dreams
Traveling in worlds unknown
Here I am, missing you
Wishing you were here
Wishing I could hug you
But reality hits me hard
“I’m here without you baby,
But you’re still on my lonely mind”
The song plays in my head
Mocking me with it’s true words
I reminisce of the times we spent together
The joys & laughter we shared
But now we’re miles apart
And missing you brings an ache to my heart
I miss you…….
Dedicated to all my friends, but most especially Lola in Bintulu & Grace in
It actually took me almost 2 months to come up with this poem. Saw the phrase “Crimson Butterfly” from a game and started formulating the whole thing before actually writing it down.
Obviously it isn’t really about a butterfly. Its more of a portrayal of a helpless person. Like children being abused, rape victims.people like that who are innocent but are hurt by someone else.
A white pair of wings flits by softly
Passing valleys, streams and rivers wide
Resting on flower beds, bushes and trees lazily
In and out of beautiful petals it hides
A picture of serenity we behold
Of a white butterfly passing by
But something is about to happen
To wreck havoc in this peaceful world
A sound is heard in the distance
The only sound which breaks the silence
A fast-moving object whizzes through the air
As a small sharp bolt moves intently on its target
Then suddenly, the butterfly stops in midair
And falls to the ground slowly
It lies on the ground with wings outstretched
And a silent cry echoes through the woods.
Unexpectedly blood gushes out of its frail being
Leaving its white wings stained
Bloody crimson on pure white, a sharp contrast
A lifeless creature soon to be forgotten.
Soon after, a thunder resounds
And soft raindrops fall on the earth
Cleansing the earth, leaving it pure again
And hoping for a better future
I wrote this when I was undecided on what to do and had to decide for my future but cant.
The agony of waiting
Anticipation, worry & distress
Causes tesion & stress
As my futer hangs on a thin line
Sleepless nights, unsettles rest
I stay awake staring at the ceiling
As the question gnaws my mind
“What will happen to me?”
I stand alone, the choice is my own
Which path should I walk upon
At a major crossroad in my life
Im forced to decide the best
But is it for me?
I miss those carefree days where all we we lived day by day, not caring about the future because we felt secure
Eating icecream after school
Jumping merrily in playgrounds
Wading into muddy pudles
Memories of a blissful childhood
Where thoughts pure and good
Fly around in our minds
Laughing without a care in the world
Ah, the innocence of youth
Dont you miss those days of fun?
Which our now hectic lives rob us of
Growing up takes away pleasures
Only a young child will appreciate
Stressed out and troubled
With demands of many upon us
We’re expected to succeed
To excel, no matter what the cost
Childhood brings memories of happy times
Memories of fun, laughter and love
Simple things, fundemental iun life
Fast slipping out of our growing hands
A depressing poem about being lost and not knowing what to do.
I see in my mind’s eye
An empty field, void of anything,
I see myself in the middle of this field
Looking right and left
Seeing green ground meeting blue horizon
Everywhere I look.
Why? Why am I alone?
My heart cries out in pain
Why? Why this frustration?
I close my eyes and scream
Why? Why am I feeling this?
I get to my feet and run.
Away from what, I don’t know
Towards where, I have no idea
Does it matter when my life
Seems like a meaningless cycle?
There has to be a way out of this
My heart whispers hopefully
I have yet to find the door
The door that will bring me happiness
Happiness seems like a dream
So far away, out of my reach
I feel tears welling up in my eyes
I bring my hand up to wipe it away
But it has dried up…
Dry tears that never fall from my eyes
Funny how tears seems to be my best friend
Tears that no one but I see
Tears no one even realizes could be there
Tears that no one can stop…
No one can help….
- 9 dec 2003 -
A poem inspired my faeries – written end of 2003. I kinda had this picture in my mind of a fairy skimming across the water, with like her hair & robes floating (?) behind her as she moves, graceful like an ice skater. Well, i hope i portrayed it well enough :D
Skimming lightly on the water,
To the songs of oceans deep,
In which whales cry to each other,
In a melody soft and sweet.
WIth golden locks covering her face,
And eyes as purple as lavender,
Across the water lay her gaze,
Looking at the moon with all her splendour.
Shimmery robes reflected like gold,
And lily white were her arms bare,
As she dances on the lake so cold,
Lo! The beauty of elven fair.
An Awakening of Reason
It was the end of the year, and i was sitting alone at the corner of my classroom and everyone was busy talking grouped in their own clique. Then i realized that these are the faces that I wouldnt be seeing everyday anymore because we were in our last year for secondary school.
When I look around me and I hear happy laughs
Of groups of friends happily talking and having fun
As they enjoy friendship alone at this corner I observe
I often wonder what’s inside behind the mask of mirth
Maybe some secret wound inside which no one ever sensed
Due to some hidden hurt someone inflicted on them
Then I think of the many times I failed to heal those wounds
Inside hearts of friends and family of which I might have caused
I think of times which I failed to brighten up your day
But instead making it worse by my actions or what I say
I realize now that I was wrong I looked like I didn’t care
I was heartless and cruel at what I did or said
So here all I want to say is I shouldn’t wait another day
To say that I really do care I’m sorry if it didn’t seem that way
Would you please forgive me?
A Loved One Lost
Dedicated to my late stilborn sister, Grace J. I wrote this for my mother. She had a still birth a few years ago when Grace was about 7-8 months old in her womb. The incident brought our family closer inspite of the sad nature of it.
You came as a gift from God
A ray of sunshine in our lives
The love and comfort of friends we got
But also at touch of pain and sorrow
But peace we feel because we know
You’ve gone to a better place
No pain, no hurt nor any hard blow
Can even touch your face
Where you have beauty beyond compare
And when the dark clutches of evil
Can never reach you there
Yes, joy abundance we feel
To know that heaven is real
For one day we know we will also
Shed all of our tears and sorrow
Though beautiful golden gates we’ll go
To meet the Creator who loved us so.
It is Love
Loosely based on 1 Corinthians
It waits without complain
It is good to all men
Satisfied with gain and pain
Does not speak of its achievements
Nor does it exaggerate what it has
It is well-mannered and thinks of others
It tolerates in all circumstances
It forgets all wrongdoing
Defender of the right, hater of the wrong
It shields the righteous and believes in the truth
It always helps for the best, it stands through the ages
It is the greatest thing in life
It is the hope for the troubled world
With this, hearts melt; with this, hearts change
This is love, above everything else
The power of love
One loving word can overcome dispute
Once loving touch can break down walls
One loving hug can knit hearts
And a loving act saved the world
A loving friend is a gift
A loving family is treasure
A loving spouse is gold
And a child’s love is precious
One loving song can calm a tempest
One loving handclasp lifts a soul
One loving smile brightens the day
The warmth of love can thaw the cold
Love is like an ebbing river
Love can never end
Love is everlasting, forever
And love, not time, heals wounds
A Special Gift
A gift everyone deserves.
I can come in many different shapes and sizes
It’s how you express it that makes all the difference
I can be from a companian who comforts us all
Or it may come from a parent who picks us up when we fall
Or maybe it’s from a firend who laughs and cries with you
It can also be from that special someone who keeps you safe and warm
It’s a precious gift that must be shared with all
And once you’ve recieved it you’ll always want more
This special gift, I hope you’ve received
Is companianship and love
To be shown through words and actions
To every hungry soul
That Fateful Night
This was written quite long ago, some time before my SPM. Someone commented that they’ve read a similar one. I realized that there are many drunk driving poems out there. But this is something I did write myself. Lets stop drunk driving.
Not a drop of alcohol passed my lips that night
I told the host I had to go and left them partying till light
As I slowly turned to the right, just a mile away from home
Suddenly a car burst through the night
And through the silence came a loud “Boom!”
“He was drunk,” I heard them say, “As for the girl, oh so very sad”
“She’ll never live to see another day”, “That drunk boy, was he mad?”
I can see Mom crying and Dad looking very, very sad
I wish I could cheer them up by saying,
“I’m going to a better place, please don’t feel bad”
My friends, who loved me at all costs,
were at my bed with tears on their faces
Some whom I thought were long lost,
Coming from my past, from different places
I said to friends and family by my side
“Thank you for your love so vast,
You’ve made my life an interesting ride”
And at the bosom where I drew my first breath,
With a smile, I quietly drew my last.”
Did You Ever Notice?
This is a poem I wrote when i was 14 – sometime in 1999 – when I had this big crush on a guy friend. Young innocent puppy love. The guy? We ended up as best friends but then drifted apart after 2003
Week by week, day by day, I see you in the thoughts
I see you in my dreams, did you ever notice?
When I see you face to face, my heart jumps for joy
I try to help you all I can, did you ever notice?
I share my hope however small, my joy, my pain you know
I try to share myself with you, did you ever notice?
Your secrets I keep, your problems I know
Everyday I say a prayer for you, did you ever notice?
All your wants I try to fulfil, everything you ask I will help
I can never say “No” to you, did you ever notice?
Your achievements I praise, your failures I overlook
Though others laugh or jeer, I don’t
Did you ever notice?
I dream of that one day, when you’ll open your eyes and see
I’ll always be there for you, and I hope you’ll notice me.