Things I thought I put behind me

“Late at night
Things I thought I put behind me
Haunt my mind”

~ Stand my Ground by Within Tempation [lyrics]

I hate to start my mornings on a negative footing – feeling pissed off, cursing under my breath at the people involved anything and everything, thinking bad words early in the morning juz ruins my whole day. And if its on a Monday, it juz ruins my whole week. Plus i overslept this morning coz I could hardly sleep last nite – had a lot on my mind, finally fell asleep at 5am and overslept slightly and woke up at 8.25am.

Weird isnt it? I was happy one day, and miserable the next. Was juz about to post about how I went out for dinner at 8.30pm thinking that we’ll (pam & I) get back at 10.30pm but were on our way back at 11.30pm before deciding to go from Kota Dsara to SS14 juz to satisfy our craving for A&W waffles+ ice cream.

I found out about something that I probably wasn’t supposed to find out about. Something that went on behind my back. Something that I should have gotten used to by now but I cant deny that I still feel hurt about it. Something that now I now decide I would totally ignore. I won’t ask questions, I wont ask for explainations coz they would juz be excuses, something like – “oh we werent sure if u were busy”, “the car was already full”, “we forgot”, – because the real reason is “we actually didnt want you there”. All the above excuses reasons are small matters that can actually be overcome easily.

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There was a group meeting (for database assignment) I was supposed to attend last friday but I couldnt because I didnt have transport to uni. Taking the public transport would be RM50 to and fro (lrt+erl+taxi). So i told one of my group mates to give me some work to make up for my non-attendance. The whole weekend – no msgs, no emails, no smses. I guess they are pissed off at the fact that I didnt attend coz when I asked about it this morning, they said – “I’ll talk to you later” even tho they were bincang-ing about it already. I tried to make up for the fact that I couldnt go to uni but I guess its not enough. And the presentation/assignment is at 1.30pm. Im screwed – unless something new develops.

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Fantastic way to start a week isnt it? *note the sarcasm*

I’ve decided that Im not going to bother about small silly things such as all this drama-drama, i like you, you dont like me, talking behind my back, etc etc, kinda shit. If u got a problem about something, tell it to my face.

I just want to go to classes day in and day out 9am-5pm and get my degree in 3 yrs. A more short-term goal would be to excel in my end of semester exams end of this mth. Thats all that matters. And thats all I care about now.