When the Past catches up

“I’m usually reluctant to meet ppl from my past because I feel that I’m different now and
I’m not sure how they would feel about that.”

My mind apparently likes to go on overdrive after hours so I tweeted this last night. We all change in a certain extent when time passes. we are not the person we were last week, a month ago, 6 months ago, 1 year ago, 5 years ago. Experiences & time taught us things that will effect our thinking and, ultimately, actions. Also not only mentally but perhaps physically as well.

“Different” might be good for me. But is it good to everyone else? Or vice versa. Example: if I were a partying girl before and decided to make a change and cut down on that lifestyle, my “kaki” would think that the change was “not good” for them because it means they are missing out another person in their clique.

Or say your meeting an old friend: You recently changed your physical look (fatter/thinner/darker/fairer/haircut/style) and the last time you met this friend was 2 years ago, would she/he not remember you as how you were before? Would he/she be surprised to see you now? Would that surprise be positive or negative?

I guess we are usually more concerned especially about what the opposite sex thinks of us ( don’t lie guys, I know you feel the same too). But i think this applies to everyone. Like @karenique said on twitter, “general public are not accustomed to change. and when we stop living their version of us, it’s bad.”

Is this an indication of low self esteem? I don’t really think so. I personally like to think we all have our little “fears” and “doubts” every once in a while. This is one of mine. Which is why I don’t like reunions.

Now back to my original paragraph, what do i do? My “coping mechanism” would be to avoid it. When some people (please note that this does not apply to everyone) asks to meet up, I find it hard to set down a date and time. I have inconsistent working hours so I don’t really know when I leave the office everyday (which is TRUE btw) but sometimes I will just say that I’m “busy” and leave it at that. I’m sorry but that’s just how I deal.

So when the past catches up on you, how do you respond?

P/s: to that old friend who asked me out recently, we’ll meet sometime next week, ok?