Rantings,  Uni Life

I feel hurt when…

  • …someone makes fun of my efforts when I want to do something
  • …I find out that some guys who contact me are just looking for sex
  • ….someone I care about says I dont remember him because I haven’t been contacting him
  • …you do something for me just out of obligation- because you owe me something – not out of sincerity
  • …something I said that is meant as a joke or careless remark is taken so seriously
  • ….someone accuses me of making her friend angry when I did practically nothing
  • …I’m supposed to jaga hati the aforesaid friend because he is not in a good mood/has had a bad day/is sensitive/has prob
  • …I learnt that you can lose the people who say they are your best friends
  • …I know that I’ve been left out from many things
  • …I am the last person to find out things
  • …I realize that I dont know my friends as much as I thought I did. And neither do they know me

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Been on a roller coaster the past few days – alternating between highs of happiness and lows of depression. Last weekend was when I really managed to feel relaxed – just being able to do what I want, eat good food, have lots of sleep, soak in the bathtub to soothe my stress away.

Monday & Tuesday had full classes. Been so busy that its taking it’s toll on my sleeping patterns and my moods. Feel easily provoked lately. If Im not disturbed, im ok, but sometimes certain people seem to want to annoy me. Have to finish a website project that I’ve been procrastinating about beacuse the client is really vague about what she wants. Have big assignments coming up. I dont understand my database lecturer because he cannot teach (i found out today that I’m not the only one who is blur).

Took a bus on Tues evening to OU. Managed to force invite “a nagak” to temankan me to watch movie and have dinner. I had fun :) thanks dear, u made my day.

Have to drop everything unimportant this week. I noticed the scrolling msg on the right is soo outdated. Havent been visiting websites either. hardly even chat online – am always using the Busy status (but some people just love to keep messaging – “which part of B-U-S-Y dont you effing understand?!?!”). I hope (and really wish) that my life would go back to its normal state by the end of this week. I need time out…and I need it soon..

3 Comments

  • gue nagak

    :O…emangnya nagak itu ada 9 semuanya..(kalau ikutin ceritanya begitu deh)…well …life is always like that..not turn to be as what we want (kalau semuanya bisa ikutin cara yang kita mauk…ya syorga namanya!)…must always sabar… calm down…no body perfect…biarin aja orang buat salah ama kita…yang penting kita still do the best as what we best can do.. ;)

  • LYNNA

    at anytime ur having depression pun u still look dolly and lovely… stay smiling all the time for ur smile always makes other ppl days brighter including me seing ur crack of thousand smiles

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