Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But…

But some people never realize the impact of what their words can mean to
some people. Parents especially. I have a very close friend who used to have a
serious case of low self-esteem (yes my dear, i am talking bout you –
without using names of course). I was kind of curious why she was that way
(being the ke-poh i am :P), so she became my “case study”. While I listened to
her problems about life, family, studies, I also analyzed it to find out the
reason. And I found out that one of the major contributing factors was that her
parents constantly compared her with her other smarter (and more favoured)
siblings. Which I found was very unfair. My parents did that at one point, but i
spoke up against it (in other words, we had a big fight about it) and then only
did my parents realized that they were showing favoritism towards my younger
sisters, which cause resentment in me. But this is not about me.

Back to my friend. Because she was constantly the “underdog” at home, she
tried her best to become the best. She is actually quite smart (smarter than me
:P) but her parents say its not good enough (sadly). Her mother also often
criticizes her weight & appearance. My friend is not fat, she’s (I think) the
perfect size and weight but because she is short, maybe that’s why she looks
bigger a bit. Sometimes i wonder what her mom thinks of me since im overweight.
hehe! aiyak, i got distracted again.

Well, after listening to her complain (it was getting boring and cynical
after a while) I told her straight to her face what her problem was, and how not
to think so much about “what people think” but be assured in yourself and do
what you think is right. It is after all your life you kno. Then after that, her
masalah was better, she’s tons happier now (i think. You’re happier now, arent
you?). Hehe! Ok so here’s a poem I wrote while i was thinking of you but no title
yet. Im waiting for you to give me a suitable title babe.

A girl learning to be a woman
On her journey in the sea of life
Trying her hardest to hold on
As her vessel threatens to sink

Her perception of herself
Is that she is second best
Everything she is and does
Is never enough, never good

Never enough to satisfy those around her
Who poison her mind with words
Finding fault is what she does
In who she is

Tossed and turned by the tempest
Her life is hard, troubled and fill with misery
She is disheartened by what she hears
Failing to please everyone

My heart aches for her
How I long to protect, to teach her
To make her believe in herself
And to ignore the nagging whispers

For these whispers bring nothing but destruction
Of life, of self-image and of hope
One should do what one believes is right
And stand firm to uphold what one believes

~ 8 july 04-0300hrs

Actually, I wonder what parents & mothers think of this post. This is based on my own experiences and analyzing but I’ll be happy to hear feedback from Aunty N and her geng atau parents lain (esp yg byk anak ikan itew) or org yg baru kawin or a rebellious princess or
Cik Blur AND OF COURSE anyone else yg terhegeh-hegeh nak komen. {Si Peminat Udang & War Pak Joe tu takkan komenla rasanya}